the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
