Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
