goodnight i made you a song goodbye
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
