if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
