I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
