We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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