I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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