It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
