I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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