So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
