I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize