i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
tell me about the eggs
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