yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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