Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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