she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
