haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
