She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
