Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
