Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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