woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it glows. i had to have it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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