This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
