Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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