I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
