evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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