So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
