he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
