Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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