I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
