why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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