worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
