I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
