I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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