Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
