why didn't you poke me back
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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