the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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