his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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