If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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