I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
