remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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