I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
