i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
