C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You are the jesus of drinking
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
