Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She's JV to your varsity
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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