$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
