erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
