he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
