its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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