hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
