So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
