Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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