Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
