Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
