high people should be assigned attendants
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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