this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i love accidental penises.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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