if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
