someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Two words: blizzard sex
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
