You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize