I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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