I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
