Your face is a jimmy john
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
