All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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