There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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