I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
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