Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions

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(319): View more from Iowa

By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"

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(606): View more from Kentucky

he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.

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(418): View more from Quebec

I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"

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(+35): View more from

I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act

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(718): View more from New York

Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet

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(727): View more from Florida

We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.

(727): View more from Florida

Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.

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