Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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