i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
