now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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