We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
