You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
